The radio where I work is really adept at playing static. Pop static, bluegrass static, math rock static, it runs the gambit. I'd prefer to keep the damned thing off, and rock out to the music in my head, but this week, The Catchiest Song in The World has been stuck in my head ( Read more... )

Crush. Crush. Crush. Orange Crush. Grape Crush. High School Crush. Crushed Velvet. Crush from Demolition. Crush. Crush. Crush. I've had every sort of crush imaginable. Hot boys with no brains. Smart boys with no asses. Big dicked, boner-brained hipsters, hippies who've met every criteria associated with the word thick you can imagine, I've even ( Read more... )

On September 1st, the church down the street from my house began its pumpkin drive. They put up a big banner: "Imported Indian Gourds for your autumn displays $5/lb." Their entire lawn and parking lot were filled to capacity with pumpkins of all sizes. All the little goody goody Jesus boys sat on the steps of the church, and waited for the ( Read more... )